How to Talk About Suicide with Your Friends and Loved Ones 

Talking to friends or loved ones about suicide can feel daunting. This is especially compounded by the isolative nature of experiencing suicidal thoughts. If you know you’re in a place to speak to friends or loved ones about how you’re feeling, but you’re unsure how to navigate it, we discuss various ways you can go about it without overwhelming yourself. After all, it’s a huge first step in getting support, and one that should be navigated carefully.

How to talk to loved ones about your suicidal feelings

Opening up about suicide to friends and loved ones can feel incredibly hard, but also a powerful and courageous step towards healing. Here’s how you can navigate this:

1. Know that you deserve support

It may be the furthest thing from your mind, but you deserve support just like anyone else going through suicidal thoughts. Understand that needing support is not a sign of weakness, but strength. It takes a lot to open up to others, and doing so is an amazing first step towards acknowledging and healthily dealing with your feelings.

2. Speak to someone you trust

If there’s someone you regularly confide in, or someone who you know has shown understanding in the past, it may help to open up to them about how you’re feeling. This could be a close friend, a family member, colleague, manager or teacher. If no one is immediately available, it may help to ring a counselling or suicide helpline.

3. Communicate in a way that’s comfortable for you

Some people may prefer to state how they feel straight up, while others may struggle to find the words. Some may also prefer to talk face-to-face or use the phone. Choose a method of communication that feels the most natural or comfortable for you.

If you’re struggling with what to say, you can start with one of the following:

• “I don’t feel like myself lately and I’m unsure why”

• “I’ve been experiencing disturbing thoughts about not wanting to be here anymore”

•“I’m feeling really low and it feels as though I’m getting worse”

Although it may be hard to begin with, being honest about how you’re feeling is the right way to go. It can effectively communicate what you’re going through. But equally, if you feel this is difficult to do straight off the bat, then work up to it.

4. Tell them how they can help you

You may not know what would help at all. But when you are feeling the way you do, we need acceptance, understanding and a listening ear.

Think about what may help, even in small ways. Would telling your employer for an adjusted workload or flexible working help? Would asking your friends to hang out more often or have regular calls support your wellbeing? It could even be asking someone for support in finding a professional to help you with your feelings.

It may also help to discuss having a safety plan in place when you’re having thoughts of suicide. This could look like:

• A safe place to go

• Key people to speak to that you trust

• Coping mechanisms

• Restricting access to suicidal aids

• Consulting a list of reasons for living – discussed with your confidant and/or healthcare professional

5. Get professional help

Sadly, there are cases where people have no one to turn to, so turning straight to professional support may be your only option.

Counsellors and psychotherapists are qualified in supporting people who are dealing with difficult feelings – including suicidal thoughts. If you are able to, it may help to jot down bullet points of the main things you’re experiencing – even if you’re unsure if it’s related to how you’re feeling. They may be able to help you process and unpack your thoughts, whilst giving you healthy coping mechanisms for when suicidal thoughts crop up or become overwhelming.

If you feel worse about opening up about suicidal thoughts

Sadly, some can feel worse about opening up about suicidal thoughts. This can happen because it’s tough to face your feelings when spoken out loud. That’s why it’s often recommended to seek professional support, as they’ll have the skills to help you manage your emotions.

There may be cases where someone you thought you could trust actually reacts with negativity or backlash if you open up about your suicidal thoughts. In these instances, it’s best to distance yourself from the individual and seek professional support right away. This is because you’ll feel a lot more vulnerable about opening up than you did previously, so it’s important to speak to a professional who can support you in managing the many difficult emotions you’re facing.

Where else can I get support for discussing suicide?

There are various methods for getting support when you talk to others about suicide.

Your GP

Your GP is a great first port of call if you need help with dealing with suicidal thoughts. They can offer a safe, confidential space to talk, assess your needs, and connect you with appropriate mental health services or crisis support. They may even be able to discuss medication options, and review any medication you’re on to see if you need adjustments to your treatment.

Suicide helplines

Suicide helplines are free, confidential support lines specifically for people who are dealing with suicidal thoughts. The most common one in the UK is Samaritans, contactable on 116 123. There are also some other notable suicide helplines:

• Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) - 0800 58 58 58

• SOS Silence of Suicide – 0808 115 1505

• Shout – text “SHOUT” to 85258

Your employer’s Employee Assistance Programme

If your workplace offers an EAP, you can access confidential counselling and mental health support at no cost. It’s a valuable resource for discussing emotional distress, including suicidal thoughts, and getting help from qualified professionals. This can also help you find a counsellor without having to pay for one yourself, which can often be costly.

How can an Employee Assistance Programme help if you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts?

An Employee Assistance Programme (EAP) can support people dealing with a wide range of mental health concerns – including suicidal thoughts. At HA | Wisdom Wellbeing, our counselling support helplines are available 24/7, 365 days a year. As after all, poor mental health and even thoughts of suicide can strike at any moment.

In addition to counselling support, HA | Wisdom Wellbeing also delivers mental health support through its CISMD (Critical Incident Stress Management Debriefing) service and Active Care (for those who have submitted a fit note). With structured, solution-focused therapy and emotional support, our counsellors can provide practical advice and guidance for individuals.

If you feel unable to speak over the phone, the Wisdom app, offered by HA | Wisdom Wellbeing, grants access to a live chat service that you can use to instant message a counsellor for support. It’s also a fantastic resource for navigating content around mental health, suicide and wellbeing.

Conclusion 

Opening up about suicide can very much cause negative feelings and dissociation in oneself. Being kind to yourself can mean small acts of kindness such as having a nourishing meal, having a rest – anything that makes you feel good in that very moment. Talk to friends and loved ones you trust – rather than who you think you should speak to. This could look like speaking to a sibling as opposed to your parents – or even a cousin as opposed to an immediate family member. What matters most is feeling safe and heard.