Building a healthy self-identity

Self-identity refers to how you identify and define yourself. Fundamentally, it answers the question: who am I? Your self-identity is everything that encompasses you. It is a combination of all your personality traits, physical attributes, and interests.

A healthy self-identity is not to be confused with a positive one. After all, the latter is largely subjective, and what one person believes about themselves differs from the next. In this guide, we’ll explore what self-identity is, how it differs from social identity, what healthy self-identity may encompass and how to work on building your own healthy sense of self.

What is self-identity?

Self-identity is how we understand, define and see ourselves. It’s the identity we give ourselves. Our identity is made up of the traits we hold (whether true or not), personal beliefs, interests and life experiences.

What is a healthy self-identity?

A healthy self-identity allows an individual to view themselves in a healthy way. Notice we don’t say positive – as this can reinforce toxic positivity. Healthy self-identity looks like having:

• A strong sense of self

• Self-awareness

• An understanding of strengths and weaknesses

• Healthy boundaries

• Self-confidence

• A growth mindset

• Emotional resilience (how easily we can bounce back from challenges)

• High interdependence (lack of needing to seek external validation)

How does self-identity affect mental health?

Identity and mental health are strongly interlinked. If we can display resilience in the face of adversity, we can reduce the onset and/or feelings of anxiety, insecurity, lack of self-worth and other unpleasant feelings. A healthy sense of identity can positively affect mental health by increasing our confidence, outlook in life and overall wellbeing.

What causes a poor sense of identity?

Self-identity is closely linked and very important to good mental health. For example, having a positive self-identity can help improve your mental health leading to greater confidence. On the other hand, a negative self-identity can lead to a lack of self-worth and spur mental health problems such as anxiety and insecurity.

There are various things that can cause poor sense of identity, including:

• Trauma

• Insecure attachment

• Needs not being met

• Social pressure

• Major life changes

• Existing mental health conditions

• Imbalances in brain chemistry

• Lack of support system

• Unhealthy relationships with partners, friends and/or family.

What makes up your identity?

What makes up our identities is complex, as it encompasses a variety of things such as:

• Personal beliefs

• Life experiences

• Social circles

• Morals

• Immediate living environment

• Self-expression

• Ethnicity

• Culture

• Friends, family and much more.

Even if someone describes their upbringing as healthy, social circles, interests, curiosities and even microtraumas can all shape how we view ourselves. This can also affect our social identity – as some individuals may be more conscious of how they’re perceived by others, which may include marital, financial, occupational, religious or behavioural traits.

How to build a healthy self-identity

As we navigate our lives, we develop our identity, the thing that makes us unique and distinguishes us from everyone else. Here at Health Assured, we believe everyone has the right to feel comfortable and confident in who they are. However, building a healthy self-identity can be a difficult task, that’s why we’re here to help. In this article, we’ll provide some top tips for becoming more confident and secure in yourself.

1. Build positive relationships

It is estimated that more than 50% of young people often worry about what other people think of them. These worries may seem small at first, but with time can blow up into debilitating anxiety.

To foster a positive self-identity, it is imperative that you surround yourself with people who value and respect you. This is echoed in current research, which shows positive social relationships can help improve self-esteem. By situating yourself in a supportive, uplifting environment you’ll feel more confident and secure.

2. Self-reflection

If you ever feel fraught with self-doubt, it is essential that you understand the underlying cause. If left unattended, these insecurities can build up and seep into your everyday life, negatively impacting your personal and professional ambitions.

Self-refection is a great way to understand how and why you feel the way you do. Taking the time to look inward and give serious thought to your behaviours can be an effective way to know where these insecurities come from. Once you understand the cause of these troublesome feelings, you can divert your attention to other matters.

3. Positive affirmation

Self-affirmation is an effective technique for building a healthy self-identity. Self-affirmations are positive acts used to challenge negative thoughts – enabling you to move beyond threats to your self-identity. Research shows that self-affirmation can lower anxiety, stress and rumination. It is also beneficial for improving academic performance and health. But how do you practice self-affirmation?

Practising self-affirmation can be a simple process. All you need to do is give yourself constant encouragement and self-compassion in moments where you may be facing hardship. These can be verbal reminders like saying something positive to yourself each morning or physical reminders such as leaving positive notes on your desk at work. When combined, these positive reminders will cheer you up and help accept yourself for who you are.

4. Practice mindfulness

Mindfulness is the practice of focusing your attention solely on the current moment. Being mindful can be beneficial for numerous mental health conditions, helping reduce stress and social anxiety. Like self-reflection, mindfulness practises allow you to take a step back, away from the stress and worries of everyday life – enabling you to understand why you feel the way you do.

Mindfulness is about focusing on your environment. It involves relaxing, meditating, and concentrating on sounds or thoughts. Mindfulness exercises can be as short as 60 seconds or as long as an hour. During this time, you can become more aware of yourself and your surroundings.

5. Seek treatment

Dealing with self-identity can be overwhelming. If you feel ready, you should consider talking to a mental health professional. According to a UK survey, approximately 1.02 million people entered treatment for mental illness last year. These figures indicate that treatment is a common pathway for many people.

Those wishing to seek treatment should not feel ashamed. Talking to a professional can take a lot of trust and courage. It can also be a step in the right direction. Through counselling, you can explore who you are, identify your values and work on your wellbeing.

How can an Employee Assistance Programme help with building a healthy self-identity?

Struggling with our sense of self can affect our mental health, our outlook and how we view ourselves. This can be further impacted by self-limiting beliefs that hinder us from seeing pitfalls as opportunities for learning or as a part of life. HA | Wisdom Wellbeing, the UK’s leading EAP provider, can help you work towards building a healthy self-identity. With a solution-focused approach to counselling, we can help you identify core negative beliefs and work with techniques routed in CBT to help reframe experiences into healthier ones. Available 24/7, 365 days a year, you can connect with a counsellor at a time that’s convenient for you.

Conclusion

Building a healthy self-identity can be a long and arduous process, particularly if you hold many negative beliefs about oneself. But by putting in the work, and even working with a counsellor to guide you, you can help build healthy-affirming beliefs to improve your self-identity and sense of self. In turn, this can improve your overall outlook in life and may even help you pursue goals and experiences you otherwise wouldn’t have previously.