Self-Care Tips for Parents and Guardians

You can’t simply clock-in and clock-out of the role of a parent or guardian. It is a full-time responsibility that requires you to be engaged and prepared to support a child when they need it. For this very reason, parents and guardians must ensure they are taking care of themselves too. If they aren’t practicing proper self-care, it can have a hugely negative impact on not just their own wellbeing, but also that of a child’s as they aren’t able to fulfil their responsibilities to the highest capacity.

Why self-care is essential for parents and guardians

Everyone requires some type of self-care. As a species, humans need to take time to prioritise their own wellbeing, physically, mentally and emotionally. Without it, they will be unable to carry out their responsibilities and will have a poorer quality of life. This is no different in the case of parents and guardians. If they are struggling with their wellbeing, it could harm the child’s wellbeing and development.

New and first-time parents and guardians can initially experience a huge amount of stress, as raising a child is a huge life event and brings with it an incredibly wide range of emotions. In some instances, however, this stress can carry with it specific conditions. Some of these most common conditions are:

• Postnatal depression

• Perinatal anxiety

• Birth trauma & PTSD

These conditions can affect anyone, even those with no pre-existing history of mental health conditions or issues. Postnatal depression can affect 1 in 10 women but can also influence partners as well. When you see your partner suffering, you are likely going to try and help them which may lead to burnout, or cause depression as you can’t solve their issues. These conditions can take a great toll on a person’s mental wellbeing and lead to further issues, placing a great strain on family, friends and even the child. It is for this very reason that parents and guardians need to practice effective self-care. It not only helps to keep their mental wellbeing in check but maintains the wellbeing of their family.

Impact of parental stress on families

Adults experience stress daily. Whether that be in a professional capacity or in their own personal lives, and that can sometimes be too much to manage. As a parent or guardian, this may be amplified due to the increased responsibility. Alongside the personal stress of being responsible for shaping a human life and protecting your child, there is also the financial pressures that come with a child. In a recent study by the Child Poverty Action Group, it was found that the cost of raising a child from birth to the age of 18 in the UK in 2024 was £260,000 for couples and £290,000 for a lone parent.

Due to a multitude of factors, the stress parents and guardians experience can sometimes be untenable. In these instances, it not only affects parents, but also their immediate family. When parental stress reaches a tipping point of becoming burnout or resulting in depression, partners, family members such as siblings and the child’s grandparents may also suffer as they either need to take up new responsibilities of caring for the child and experience feelings of helplessness for the struggling parent. Parental stress has an intense ripple effect, even on the child. Studies have found that parental stress during infancy can be directly linked to mental health issues in children aged three, even doubling the odds they will experience a mental health issue at such a young age.

If you are struggling with stress and are confused on where to start with self-care, you can check out our blog post ‘Example Self-Care Routines for Beginners’.

Recognising when you need self-care

The joys of being a guardian and raising a child can sometime get overshadowed in the pressures and stresses that come with it. With the constant attention, concern and responsibilities guardians must manage, self-care can fall by the wayside. Self-care is an essential component to being able to juggle all the responsibilities and pressures that come with being a parent or guardian. Just like anybody, there are signs that parents and guardians need to practice self-care.

Disassociating / Feelings of apathy

Due to the demand and responsibilities of raising a child, it can become incredibly overwhelming. The lack of sleep, the amount of emotional and physical energy raising a child requires, a parent can quickly become burnt out. Due to the level of exhaustion parents go through in these periods, it can lead to something more worrying which is detachment and disassociation. It has been found that the level of exhaustion some parents experience can lead to apathy, severely limiting their parental abilities. When you begin to feel this way, some time for self-care is not only encouraged but necessary. If you are burnt out and experiencing depression, you won’t be able to provide your child with the necessary level of care. Caring for a child is a fragile eco-system that relies on the wellbeing of the parent or guardian. Children rely on their guardians for the basics, and if you are feeling burnt out or depressed, it can be extremely harmful to the development of the child.

Feeling physically unwell

Chronic stress over a prolonged period is proven to lead to physical health problems. As a parent or guardian with the responsibility of raising a child, stress is a near certainty. If our body deals with stress for too long, it can lead to mood swings, depression and other strong emotions, but it can also take a physical toll, leading to stress headaches and stomach pains. If this begins to occur and impairs your parental duties and capabilities, it is best you carve out some time to practice self-care to give your mind and body a rest.

Emotional outbursts and mood swings

One of the key indicators that we may need to take some time to address self-care is when we are noticing emotional outbursts of anger, irritability, sadness or anxiety. Raising a child will also raise a lot of emotions, mix that in with stress and our mood can swing wildly. We may begin to take frustrations out on loved ones, become irritated at little things, or even begin to feel negative emotions towards our own children. When emotions become too much to handle, we should address our own needs to reinstate our mindful state and restore calm.

Building a support network of people to speak to

Parenthood is a unique journey and no one experience is the same. However, others do understand the struggles. They can empathise with your experiences, offer advice and support you through the more challenging periods. This might be friends, siblings, extended family members, local parenting groups or something else. No matter what it is they may help with emotional needs, give practical advice for things you might be unprepared for and remind you that you aren’t alone by sharing similar experiences.

It can be difficult to seek help as a parent or guardian, admitting you are struggling can be feel like something to be ashamed of or make you feel as though you are an unfit parent. But you aren’t the first person to struggle with raising a child, and you will be far from the last. Being honest with those closest to you gives you the opportunity to discuss your worries and concerns with someone you trust.

Another option if you want outside support is to join local or online parenting groups. Other parents and guardians will have empathy for your struggles, provide insights and a social outlet for your self-care needs when you need someone to speak to. Their tips and knowledge can prove to be invaluable and will enable you to support other guardians in the future with this wisdom.

In more serious circumstances where you may be dealing with a mental health issue such as postpartum depression, you might require professional assistance in the form of counselling. With access to HA | Wisdom Wellbeing’s EAP, parents and guardians as well as their immediate family will be able to access a 24/7 helpline 365-days a year, where our expert counsellors can provide the necessary support to overcome your struggles.

Digital detox: reducing screen time

Whether it is for your own peace of mind to enable you to focus on your child, to set an example for them or even to prevent them using a digital device too often, a digital detox can be incredibly valuable to a family unit’s mental health and wellbeing.

The benefits of a digital detox include reduced stress and anxiety due to a reduced amount of ‘doomscrolling’, higher attention span and increased in-person social interaction. These are all facets that guardians want to impose onto their children. If a parent can give their child more attention, they will begin to better understand what they need, how to care for them and in turn, carve out more time for self-care. This creates a self-sustaining system of self-care and child-care whilst providing the child with a basis for social interaction and increasing their attention span. The modern world may dictate that we have to use our phone more often than we might like, but a digital detox is invaluable to our cognitive skills, especially in the case of a parent who is caring for and attempting to teach their child values and morals.

When to seek professional support

Sometimes, all of the emotions and demands that come with raiding children can take its toll, and eventually, without support or intervention, the issue may require professional support. Whether it is struggling to find the time to care for yourself, manage your mental wellbeing or if you feel the struggles are impacting your caregiving abilities as a guardian, counselling can provide the necessary support. If you feel that you have reached a point where you need professional assistance, we recommend contacting your GP or accessing a counselling service that may be available to you. This may be in person; it could be online, or it could be through your EAP. No matter the reasoning, when dealing with struggles as a parent, every issue is more intense, and support may be necessary.

How can an EAP help?

With access to HA | Wisdom Wellbeing’s Employee Assistance Programme (EAP), parents not only have access to 24/7 counselling with expert counsellors, but their immediate family can also access the service for support. With counsellors trained and prepared to deal with issues such as stress, anxiety and depression, all of which are common conditions when raising a child, our team can support you through a tough period and ensure your wellbeing is in order. This service can be accessed 24/7, 365-days a year and can be relied upon as the parental wellbeing partner.

Conclusion

Finding the time to afford yourself self-care as a parent is not particularly easy, but it is necessary. Your child not only relies upon you, but your wellbeing. If you are unable to take care of your needs due to stress and anxiety, what are the chance you can care for your child’s? Finding the right support system, taking time to care for yourself, and isolating yourself from the digital world to focus on the world around you is vital to caring for yourself and your child.