What is self-reflection?

How often do you reflect on yourself, achievements, areas for improvement and emotional state? It can be hard to make time to reflect when we’re in the motions of our busy lives, but self-reflection may just be the key to achieving our goals faster and improving our life satisfaction.

Self-reflection defined – what is it?

Self-reflection is the time we take to look back on various things to do with ourselves. This can be things like our careers, relationships, mental health, physical wellbeing, hobbies and much more. It’s time we take to really check in and evaluate where we’re at, what we’re happy with and what we’d like to improve.

• ## Why is self-reflection important? 

It’s very easy to fall into a habit of ‘coasting through life’. And while there’s nothing inherently wrong with that notion, sometimes our dissatisfaction in an area of life may be due to not taking the time to self-reflect. We can’t expect things to improve if we don’t change a habit or two, so really having a think about why we do what we do, or how we can do things differently is a powerful way to put our intentions into action.

Here are just some of the many reasons why self-reflection is important to prioritise:

• It boosts self-awareness

• It can facilitate personal growth

• It may help boost self-esteem

• It helps you focus and/or redirect goals

• It can promote wellbeing

Self-reflection and mental health – how are they connected?

Reflecting on oneself directly impacts our mental health. This is because the act of reflecting really puts our life into perspective from the outside. While it may be disheartening, or even distressing for some individuals, it can also be a time of experiencing pride.

The former emotions may come about if an individual feels they ‘haven’t achieved enough’. It can be tough coming to terms with realisations, but in time, making small changes off the back of self-reflection can lead to better outcomes. With help and professional guidance, this can possibly become actualised far sooner.

What are the benefits of self-reflection? 

Reflecting on your thoughts, relationships, career and other personal journeys can be incredible for measuring your progress. Here are the ways self-reflection can benefit us:

1. It increases our self-awareness Becoming aware of how we feel about certain decisions and where we are at different stages in life can really help us pinpoint what things to change or boundaries to set.

2. It gives us a chance to re-align When we self-reflect, we discover whether our progress in a particular area aligns with who we are and/or our original goals. A concept known as cognitive dissonance – a state where you feel discomfort when your behaviours don’t align with your values – can lower our mood, self-esteem and even worsen existing mental health conditions. By being conscious about self-reflection, we can stave off cognitive dissonance and re-align with our true selves.

3. It helps you take accountability Goals can fall off the wayside when life gets too busy. While totally normal, it can pull a number on how we see ourselves. When we self-reflect on a regular basis, we consciously take stock of our goals and where we might benefit from investing our time and energy.

4. It can facilitate contentment Self-reflection can help you realise you have enough. You make come to realise that things aren’t as bad as they seem, or you may be at a point where things have marginally improved since taking steps to improves areas in your life. This can be further facilitated by regularly practicing gratitude.

When can self-reflection be potentially harmful? 

Self-reflection on a regular basis can be a healthy way of reevaluating thoughts, feelings, behaviours and goals. But when it becomes obsessive, or to a point where you regularly judge yourself harshly, then self-reflection can quickly become a time of negative self-talk and comparison.

This can also look like:

• Having ruminating thoughts (where you repeat or excessively think about a situation)

• Self-judgement

• Self-criticism

• Overcompensation at the expense of your mental health and/or relationships

• Unhealthy physical habits e.g. extreme dieting

How to practice self-reflection 

You may self-reflect without realising it. But if you want to make a conscious effort to take time for self-reflection, here are some ways to do so and improve your mental health and wellbeing.

1. Keep a journal

Whether it’s quick notes on your phone, or streams of consciousness on good old pen and paper, journalling for your mental health can be a brilliant way to practice self-reflection. It can be helpful to read back and discover how you’ve handled certain situations since those moments, as well as evaluate how your goals, feelings and behaviours may have changed over time.

2. Speak with a trusted friend or family member

Talking it out with someone you trust can help you verbalise how things have been going. Whether it’s a friend, partner or family member, their perspectives can help you come to new realisations and reflect on your feelings in a way that may be different on your own. This can be an especially helpful way to self-reflect for those who may struggle to do so alone, as talking through your thoughts and feelings can help you comprehend them with someone else.

3. Ask yourself open-ended questions

To self-reflect as effectively as you can, asking yourself questions can help you make informed decisions for the future. Here are some prompts for self-reflection to get you started:

• What areas of my life are giving me joy right now?

• What areas feel like a drain?

• What can I change that’s within my control?

• Have I maintained relationships with particular people? If not, why?

• How often do I feel content?

4. Do a meditative activity

Whether that’s taking time to sit and meditate, or doing another activity that induces a meditative state like walking or crafts – meditation can help us focus, clear our minds and intently think about the things we wish to reflect on.

How an Employee Assistance Programme can help with self-reflection

Self-reflection, while mostly a sole activity, can be tough for individuals who aren’t used to taking time to themselves, or are unsure of how to process their feelings. An Employee Assistance Programme (EAP) can provide counselling support to individuals struggling with self-reflection and the feelings that follow.

At HA | Wisdom Wellbeing, counselling support is available 24/7, 365 days a year and uses a solution-focused approach for individuals seeking short-term counselling, by encouraging the use of self-assessment tools for introspection and insight into personal challenges, thoughts, and emotions. The EAP also grants users access to the unique Wisdom app which allows individuals to track their mood, exercise goals and much more.

Conclusion

Self-reflection is an incredibly powerful way to process one’s emotions, measure progress, make changes where needed and practice gratitude. It’s important to manage our emotions, ideally with our support systems and/or help from a counsellor, if we feel self-reflecting brings about triggering thoughts and emotions. With the right support, self-reflection can help our future goals and improve mental health over time by taking us out of a rut when things aren’t going quite how we want them to.