Coping with fertility issues and baby loss around Mother’s Day

 It’s estimated that one in four pregnancies end in loss during pregnancy or birth. 

That’s many women and their partners who must endure the emotional and sometimes physical hardships that come with these experiences. 

Fertility too causes issues for couples trying to conceive.

It’s estimated that 1 in 7 couples have difficulty conceiving. 

Both fertility issues and baby loss are absolutely devastating to the couple—and the individual. The emotions that come with these traumatic events can make daily life difficult and cause a range of fleeting emotions. 

As we head further into March, the narrative surrounding Mother’s Day is increasingly dominating. Mother’s Day cards, gifts and plans crop up in conversation and take priority in supermarkets across the country. 

For someone who has been, or is going through, one of the events mentioned above, this time can be particularly triggering. Your internal emotions might feel quite a contrast to others' feelings associated with this holiday. And this contrast can make those feelings even more isolating. 

It’s for this reason we’ve put together some tips on coping with fertility issues and baby loss around Mother’s Day below. 

Listen to yourself 

This time can be particularly challenging and highly emotional. Make sure you’re listening to yourself and acknowledge how you’re feeling. Connect with what’s going on inside you and note your internal reactions as the topic arises. Be gentle with anything that comes up—and know that it’s natural this time will be difficult for you. 

Also, know that you’re not alone—although it might feel like it. And while that doesn’t make the emotions you're experiencing any easier you might find solace in the fact that others too can, and will, make it through these times. 

When you listen to yourself, you can stay in touch with how your emotions might fluctuate around this time. Increased awareness will help you notice when you’re struggling and guide you to reach out for help if you need it. 

Confide in others you trust 

Although it’s difficult, talking with someone you trust helps you process how you feel. Whether a friend, a partner or in a support group of people who’ve been through a similar thing. These interactions and connections might ease the pain you’re experiencing. 

Tommy’s is the largest UK charity researching the causes and prevention of pregnancy complications, miscarriage, stillbirth, premature birth and neonatal death. They provide a support group for anyone affected that helps people feel less alone. 

Prioritise self-care 

Know that there’s no right or wrong way to feel right now. Be gentle with yourself and prioritise self-care wherever you can. Don’t be afraid to cancel commitments around this time, and ensure you put yourself and your health first. You might wish to spend the day remembering your baby with a ritual, taking care of yourself or doing something special with your partner. Make it through the day in your unique way, however feels right to you. Know that support is available should you need it. 

The Sands Helpline is available via 0808 164 3332 or [email protected] to anyone affected by the death of a baby. 

Fertility Network UK also offer a range of support services, including a helpline and online and in-person support groups.