The art of self-love

In a world that makes us feel like we need to keep up with the trends, post the best pictures and succeed every time, we can fall into the trap of being hard on ourselves. 

The mind’s chatter can quite easily become negative—and in this state, we’re more susceptible to negative emotions and even mental health problems if this inner battle goes on for a long time.

By cultivating a more encouraging, supportive, yet reasonable inner voice, we can start taking care of ourselves, feeling better about ourselves and seeing challenges as obstacles rather than threats. 

So in this article, we’ll be sharing some tips on mastering the art of self-love.

1. Acceptance

Acceptance often forms one of the major building blocks of self-love and healthy self-esteem; it’s also considered essential to growth in therapy; as leading psychologist, Carl Rogers notes:

“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself as I am, then I change.”

The foundation of self-love often needs to be born out of acceptance. 

For those struggling with inner negativity around feeling guilty, like you’ve done wrong, you have wronged, or you aren’t enough in some way, it can feel almost impossible to reach a place where you accept yourself. 

But with time, it is possible to release judgements about how you should or shouldn’t be.

You didn’t choose how to feel, so don’t beat yourself up for feeling one way or another; work on accepting yourself as you are right here and now, and from there, you’ll have a greater chance of implementing any changes you’d like to make.

2. Slowing down 

We’re in an age where we stay up late, drink more, spend more and eat more than ever before—the green light is always on, and many people have extremely hectic schedules to match. 

But when we’re rushing, speeding to the next thing or juggling multiple things at once, it can cause stress levels to rise.

And with elevated stress levels, negativity and burnout start to creep in, which seems like a far cry from self-love.

The antidote to this stress? Slow down. It’s a simple yet effective tool that helps you stay connected to yourself. Here you can see how you’re talking to yourself in that moment, validate your own emotions as they arise and act accordingly.

3. What do you need? 

One of the most important questions to ask yourself when you’re learning the art of self-love is what do I need right now? Maybe it’s a glass of water, a deep breath, a 5-minute break or some fresh air. If you never stop to ask the question, you’ll never know.

We are often very good at attending to others’ needs, yet we rarely stop to do the same for ourselves. The more you ask this question, the more you make yourself a priority in your mind.

4. Appreciating the good 

Being stuck in a cycle of negative thinking can begin a dual cycle of negative emotions that can be hard to break out of. One thing that can help shift your perspective is gratitude.

This could be gratitude for positive qualities about you, looking out for small positive things each day or making a conscious effort to look for things that are going well rather than wrong. Dropping criticisms where you can and taking even just a moment of appreciation can be a great start.